The Doctor is in

Hello people, how are all doing? Hope the week started on a good note. Mine is not bad. I had to repost this since O'dee and afew others couldn't read the post. Wondered what happened.

I got this from a friend and I wanted to share especially with all the weight loss issues going on. This is just to make you feel good about yourself. Try not to overdo the whole thing. Relax with this joke. It was from a Doctor friend of mine. Frankly I was surprised as he is one of those serious people and wondered briefly if he actually tells his patients any of these.

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ..... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming well for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'

AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Enjoy the rest of the week.

BTW: Does anyone know if Oluwadee has opened a new blog?

Overly Random

Work has been intensive. I can't even read posts. I tried last week but the sheer magnitude of updated posts overwhelmed me. I chickened out. I refuse to complain about the fuel thingy today. Hope everyone is doing okay. I will try to come by your pages as soon as I am less busy.

I am loving Wande Coal's You bad. I just can't stop singing it.

This is a very random post as depicted by the title.

I got this in my fb inbox last week. I found it highly ridiculous! I haven't spoken to the guy that sent it in 10 years, I mean that literally. That was way back in high school and I it left me wondering when the events he described took place. I could only conclude that the message wasn't for me. Or the guy is confused. Here it goes;

We've been friends 4 so long,back in d secondary school days. There have been lots of tears and so much laughter between us. I feel closer to you than anyone else. I've listened and hurt every time you fell in love, longing to be the one in your arms. I've been there for you when every one of ur relationships fell apart. You listened and cried with me when we found out about the cancer and you stood by my side through all of it. Now is the time to tell u that the waiting is over.
The love you so desperately seek is here in my arms. You've often asked why I'm not interested in any of the gals who hit on me when we're all out. I've always told you they weren't the one for me. Now I'm telling you that you are the one for me. You're the one I dream about. No one can make me laugh like you, even when I'm knee deep in tears. The reason I've been alone for 9 longs years is this: I've been waiting for you to see the love in my eyes that's only for you. I'll wait forever if that's how long it takes. I nid you. I miss you when u're gone, and I hurt wen u're sad. For everything you are.

Love Always,

You can imagine what my face looked like when I read that. What a load of crap!

I want the new Blackberry Storm. That thing is lovely. I know what I will be saving for next. I wish I would just win the lottery or something. This working thing is not easy. If I think of the hard work that goes into making the money, I won't spend a dime on frivolous items but my vain self will simply not let the sensible self see the light!

I was surprised when I heard that Nigerian Senators are cutting their base salaries by 10% to help the meltdown. I think they should cut their allowances by 30% instead let's see how jolly they will be then. Some of them were actually smiling when it was announced, obviously that is peanuts compared to what they get to spend.

I saw the season finale of Grey's Anatomy on YouTube, I couldn't wait for Mnet, What is Shonda Rhimes doing? George must come back for next season. Not so sure about Izzie though I will miss her. Meredith and Derek didn't get married again! The suspense is becoming annoying.

Forgive the randomness, I am in autopilot work mode. Be good people.

 

 

 

May the 25th!

I am happy my last post inspired a lot of people that was the aim.

Work is burying me but I refuse to let it overshadow my blogging power!

I am presently holed in the library under the guise of conducting some dusty crusty research.

When the power of google fails, ye shall resort to the good ol' days of thumbing through books. But seriously I am still sorting through the books that weigh half my size. Just taking a mini break. If I glance through another fine print within the next hour, I might just start smashing things. What happened to the days of simply waking up at your own pleasure with nothing to do but watch tv all day or read a book?

Thank you all for sympathizing with me on the fuel thingy. It abated during the weekend but the queues were snaking back as at yesterday. I don't know why the government is so bovine about the whole situation.

The President had a press conference yesterday where he stated that it is a 'cartel' that is responsible for the situation. I would say Puhleeeeese! Although he did say that he would deal with them apropriately when they are caught.

On to less aggravating issues, the koko mansion (D'Banj reality tv show) is generating a lot of negative feelers. I am a kokolet myself, I mean I love the guy but I think that idea is silly. For more info check out JideSalu.

Forgive the randomness of the past paragraphs. The lady is not co-ordinated this afternoon.

To the reason for my post; May the 25th is AFRICA DAY.

As a way to celebrate our origin, I would like everyone to state why they love being an African. We should celebrate Africa on that day and not dwell on the poverty and all the other negative issues. I say this because we live with those issues everyday and we don't celebrate its beauty and richness often enough. Besides the foreign press will use the opportunity to broadcast our problems.

I have attempted to put up nice pictures about Africa but it's not coming out the way I want.

I should get back to work. The headache is coming on with a mild toothache.

Does anyone where they do really good Sharwama? Please don't suggest Bob's Express. Thank you.

Enjoy the rest of the week people.

I believe.

It must be a good week for me to post twice!
The fuel situation is getting my goat literally. But I remain strong. I am running low but I should be thankful because several people do not have at all. It's the long queue inducing traffic that I hate. Plus the rain in Lagos. It is veeeerrrrrrryyyyyyy annoying.

How has your week been? Mine is still busy but I am sneaking off to blog and more. I am also hungry got to go eat.

A friend sent me this to lift up my spirits in these trying times. It helped. I hope you find it as inspiring as I did.

I Believe...
That just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other.
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I Believe...
That we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I Believe...
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I Believe...
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I Believe...
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I Believe...
That it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I Believe...
That you should always leave loved ones
with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I Believe...
That you can keep going long after you think you can't.

I Believe...
That we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I Believe...
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I Believe...
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I Believe...
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I Believe...
That my best friend and I,
can do anything,
or nothing and have the best time.

I Believe...
That sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down,
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I Believe...
That sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I Believe...
That maturity has more to do
with what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.

I Believe...
That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others.
sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I Believe...
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I Believe...
That our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but, we are responsible for who we become.

I Believe...
That you shouldn't be so eager
to find out a secret.
It could change your life Forever.

I Believe...
Two people can look at
the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I Believe...
That your life can be changed
in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

I Believe...
That even when you think
you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you -
you will find the strength to help.

I Believe...
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I Believe...
That you should send this
to all of the people that you believe in,
I just did.

I Believe...
The happiest of people
don't necessarily have the best of everything;
they just make the most of everything.

Tomorrow is Friday! TGIF coming on. Enjoy the rest of the week people.

Not really.

Hi peeps.
Work has been crazy!
My title should read 'not really a post just an update'
Couldn't even sneak off to write or read a post.Thank you for all the birthday wishes! It was much appreciated.
I had a lovely time, in fact it was so wonderful I didn't want the day to end. Alas it had to, to make way for another day for someone else to feel special.
The dinner was superb. everyone behaved themselves except for one guest who arrived late. I had to start ordering without her and her plus 1. My other guests were beginning to get impatient.

I have been really busy, wait, I said that before. I finally made my court appearance debut last week. I got a raving kudos from other counsels present and my senior colleague who followed me. If it was a show I would have gotten a standing ovation!



I had a few hitches but with sound background preparation I sailed along beautifully. I thought I would just adopt my written paragraphs already filed before the court, the Judge had other ideas. She asked me to argue my Motion, I promptly did and I would like to think I floored my learned colleague on the other side. in fact I did. Court was adjourned for ruling for about 2 months.
Because of this ahem... perfomance, I have more work from the litigation department even though I am in the corporate department.

On to other things-
I am loving my current nails would have put up a pics but anyone who 'stumble' on this page would know it is me. The nails are that hawt! It is done in purple and gold. I love the royal color!

Seriously this fuel scarcity situation has got to improve! It is totally frustrating. People are suffering. I got lucky on Friday I bought fuel and there was no queue. I mean just a few cars. So my Dad & I filled the cars at home.

Had to look through my calendar for the next public holiday. Yes I am that overworked. It's all good sha. I was happy I mean VERY, to discover that our democracy day or whatever they choose to call it, is on the 29th of this month. Double Yay 'cos it's a Friday.

It's almost official closing hour but I will be here for a good extra hour before I can leave. I know I will pay for this blogging.

By the way-
What is up with all these companies laying people off for the flimsiest excuses? I know there is a recession, but cut the salaries or ask people to work in shifts don't look for stupid little things to sack people. There should be a valid reason at least.

I know of someone in a telco (telecommunication company), she was laid off for 'sending the official car to go pick her mother'. talk about ridiculous.
I understand about the banks cutting top level management salaries but watching people and giving them query/memo because of a hairstyle is pushing the envelop a bit far! hairstyle in question is a full fringe and the color was neutral (black) for a bank. What is wrong with this? Check the pix below-


Who knows where LG is? I haven't seen any update from her.
It looks like it will be a busy week. I can see that office assisstant delivering my letters from last week. More outgoing mails for me.

Henhen before I forget, I want to start Pilates. I am a skinny bonga fish but I need more flexibility and tighter abs! My bones crack all the time. I only need to stand up, you will hear 'ka ka' depending on how many bones choose to partake in the current action. My colleagues are having a good time with my 'bone music'. I tried over the weekend, now I ache in places I didn't even know I had. Any tips?

Have a fabulous week people. I will try to come by your pages more often. You guys update too much sef. :-D

Break out the Champagne!

I have been away for quite some time. Missed you all like crazy. Interestingly my thoughts have been with Buttercup and Chari lately. Hope you guys are doing ok. My Google is misbehaving. I have been opening my blogger page but it comes on in Arabic. I tire. Even my search pages come out like that. Pretty frustrating since the bulk of my work these days seems to be writing up articles and making a comparative analysis of company issues in different jurisdictions.

On to other things- I had things to blog about last week. I had major pet peeves but they all seem to have disappeared.

My birthday is tomorrow. Bought a dress and went venue shopping on Sunday. I wanted a gorgeous atmosphere and amiable staff, where I can relax with my friends and be totally free, not one of those stuck up places. Finally found a nice restaurant with food I love. I am hosting a birthday dinner for 12 persons. Selecting the people I want to spend my evening with was an arduous task I tell you. I had these thoughts-Who would get mad if not invited, which friends would get along best with one another etc. I guess I should be thankful I don't have to do sitting arrangements. I would have screamed!

I wanted an all girls evening before but my male friend whom I accidentally jabo'd to made all sorts of noise so he kinda finagled an invite and I had to exclude some more girls to have an equal representation of the sexes.

Like a friend pointed out, the dinner will end late, getting home will be a chore so why not make it a more rounded 0cassion as the guys will act as the Calvary? I had to agree with that.

So people what have you all been up to? I will be round your pages soon. that will be my weekend gift to myself. Speaking of which, Lagos is agog with the Eyo festival plans slated for this Saturday. No Lagos Island waka for me on that day. A word of advice, I heard if you will be in that vicinity as a woman 'do not pack your hair up in a ponytail' to look like a 'suku'. I don't know why that is though.

I missed my blog I swear. Typing this up soothes my spirit in ways I can't describe. Even though I am not happy about the ton of paper I have to write as my report for the work I am currently working on.

I don't feel different even though this is the last day I will spend as a 24 year old! The past one year in itself has been fabulous. I cannot thank God enough for all that he has done for me.

Everytime my alarm sounds off in the name I go 'oh another day', the thought that immediately follows is, be glad you are alive and healthy. A lot of people would give anything to be where you are at the moment. So I get up and smile and set about the day's activities.

Sorry if this post is totally un-coordinated, its good to be back and I didnt think of this I am just going with the flow. Pardon the typos work has been crazy. I just took a mini break and it seems the break is stretching to a full one. In fact I will continue the work tommorrow. I shall blog to my heart's content for now.

New job Title!

When you have nothing to blog about, what do you do? Share a joke? That's exactly what I am doing.

Easter was really nice, rested like I had been slaving all these months. My cousin also got married during the break. Lovely wedding. Another opportunity for the clan to gather and make other plans while teasing each other about who is next. I am happy no one is stressing us out just yet.

The guys bringing their ladies and us wondering who will dare to be next.

This is to Temite:- How can you go PRIVATE without inviting me? Not happy at all! :-(

Omotee added another year yesterday. Happy Birthday girl!

I think that's all with current events. Enjoy my joke. Of course its not really the Ministry of Labor in Nigeria.


The Ministry of Labor in Nigeria has introduced 'new titles to jobs' to remove inferiority complex, so that workers could be proud and comfortable with their professional Titles.

These are:

1. Garden Boy ---- Landscape Executive and Animal Nutritionist

2. House Maid ---- Domestic Operations Specialist

3. Typist ---- Printed Document Handler

4. Messenger ---- Regional Business Communications Conveyer

5. Window Cleaner ---- Transparent Wall Technician

6. Temporary Teacher ---- Associate Tutor

7. Tea Boy ---- Refreshments Overseer

8. Garbage Collector ---- Public Sanitation Technician

9. Watchman ---- Area Theft Prevention and Surveillance Officer

10. Thief ---- Wealth Redistribution Officer

11. Driver ---- Automobile Propulsion Pilot

12. Mechanic ---- Automobile Propulsion Specialist

Please be advised accordingly