Got none

I thought about naming this post WHY? But I didn’t have that many questions to back it up.

I was sleeping but I couldn’t get comfortable so I have resorted to writing this since my mind has refused to shut down completely so I can sleep. My mind is overcrowded.

I am not too happy that I can’t seem to settle down enough to study for my ICSA exams.

I am not finding this funny at all. One of the courses is Corporate Financial Management (CFM) it’s driving me nuts! (I am taking the last two having completed the other two, I am self studying).

I don’t like maths. Give me hundreds of pages I am perfectly fine my brain will just keep assimilating but when it comes to calculation my brain just tunes out.

I told my Dad what was happening and can you imagine his reaction? He just started laughing! He reminded me of the war we used to have over all my maths results. And that I should go buy a secondary school maths text book!

When I got over the mild anger at him, I actually bought the text plus a scientific calculator only problem is trying to figure out how to use the dang thing! Or remembering what I used to do with it when I was in secondary school.

It was so annoying trying to explain to the guy at the bookshop the specific topics I wanted in the text. Ratios, square roots, fifth roots, equations, standard deviation etc.

Here’s my WHY dilemma.

Why can’t I understand simple mathematics?

Why didn’t I start to work out the CFM since I got it?

Why do I always do this to myself?

Why do I spend more time thinking about having a boyfriend than actually having one?

Why do I keep buying shoes that I only get to wear maybe once a year?

Why am I never satisfied with just one body spray at a time? (I must have at least 4)

Why do I always buy junk food that I would end up not eating? (My room is littered with shopping bags of all kinds of snacks)

Why am I a compulsive shopperholic?

Why do guys I am not attracted to always ask me out?

Why do my so called male friends always ‘fall in love’ with me and expect me to reciprocate?

Why can’t I even like them a little in that way since they are always basically good guys?

Why do I listen to D’banj’s album back to back everyday? (I am turning into a kokolet!)

Why do I chew gum every morning on my way to work?

Why am I upset about all these questions sef?

Why do I cyber flirt with guys I know I would never date?

Why am I typing this in word doc? (If I go to blogger I would stay up all night reading blogs so I will save it and post tomorrow)

Why am I still here? (Still have questions duh)

Why haven’t I made an entry in my journal in several months? (Blogging has taken over)

I think those are all the whys I want to put down for now. Work is back to its normal boring self. I am good with my boss now. Its 3 more months to the end of NYSC why not spend it just reflecting and chilling?

I can’t wait for the next phase of my life to begin. I don’t even know what I really want to be doing. I want to go and practice a little (I think!) hope I like it and not get stifled in the process.

I still can’t believe all that has happened in the past year. Time really does fly! Why am I even in this reflective mood tonight? I am going back to studying.

On a lighter note, I had one man chase me all the way to my work place this morning. I was coming to work jejely na so this man dey flash him lights and drawing up beside me at every opportunity. I didn’t even notice I was too engrossed in D’banj’s Entertainer album to see him. Finally when I passed the last traffic light to my Office my brain snapped out of the koko world enough to realize that the same car had been following me since I got into Central Area.

It was too late to change directions I was also kinda late so I just braved it and continued on my way to work. I parked outside and he drew up beside me. I know I should have gone on to park inside. The gateman wouldn’t open the gate for the man if I had done so, part of me was also curious to see the ‘bloke’.

I was disappointed. It’s an older guy whom I am sure has a wife somewhere. He is fortyish but very good looking plus I didn’t sight a ring. I know I won’t be fishing in those waters. We got introduced. He didn’t get my number not for lack of trying sha.

What did he do? He showed up at my lunch break asking to take me out. I didn’t go with him o. I had other plans which was going to Chicken Republic to get moinmoin.

Anyways I gave him my official number to save having him come around to the office trying to see me. I don’t have to pick his calls now.

I had whitlow last week! I was supposed to go for a party with Omotee on Saturday. I was wearing open toed shoes so I decided on a pedicure. It was an over-enthusiastic one. When I was done my toes were pink!

I ended up not going for the party sha. So I went to the market instead. It rained heavily while I was there and I knew in my mind that something would go wrong with my foot.

On getting home I washed my legs thoroughly I guess I didn’t do enough. I woke up on Monday to see my right big toe swollen and tender. Apparently I had broken the seal between the skin and nail while doing the pedicure.

I knew trouble had come. So I went to work, googled ‘whitlow’ and found a cure. I was popping antibiotics & vitamin c like it would go out of fashion. I hate taking drugs.

It worked but I had to contend with some limping for a few days and wearing flat sandals to work! Ouch! I was pained o, part of the fun of going to work for me is playing dress up. Anyhoos its all gone now and I am back to normal.

Enough said for today. I am either going to sleep or study! I think this is a long post, if it is Sorry!

Government property!

I am having cramps right now but I had to come in to work, I am having issues with my boss. I can't go for lunch, the cramps is driving me nuts so I am blogging.

Back to this title, last Friday on my way home, I was speeding as I saw the light was still green so I wanted to beat it before it turns red. As I did, there was a lady in front of me and another driver behind me we all made it but were all stopped by the police, that we ran the amber light.

So I rolled down my window to talk to the policeman, he asked for my driver's license and I showed him, then he said I should bring it, I was like no. My experience with these people is once you give them, you won't get it back without parting with something or plenty police wahala.

This guy was like I should open the door that he is arresting me and we are going to their station I was like on top wetin? I refused to unlock the door so he put his hands through the window and unlocked the door! Before I could say WTF he was sitting in my passenger's seat instructing me to drive. I felt violated! I was so angry my entire body was shaking!

I asked him why he did that and he was like I was proving stubborn that I FLASHED him my license instead of handing it over. See me see me trouble! I looked around and saw that the other people whom they stopped with me had been 'released'. Na so my brain kick into overdrive.

He was like I ran a traffic light and they are charging me to court, that I didn't slow down at a traffic junction etc. When he mentioned court I laughed in my mind. I told him in as calm a voice as I could muster that that court he mentioned is my stage so he doesn't scare me. I am a lawyer ke!

That angered him he was like so because I am a lawyer I am above the law, I had no respect for the police, he just went on and on. A colleague of his then came over and he also asked to see my license me as a pro at these things, I simply showed it to him as I did, the contents of my wallet just tumbled out. Na so I see my yellow NYSC ID card I was so happy!

I have never played the Corper card before even though people have told me the power it wields. I just turned to the guy and said:

• I haven't committed any crime and I didn't run the traffic light besides if anyone had run the light it should be the guy behind me.
• The other two people they stopped for the same thing had been allowed to go and why were they still holding me?
• I am a Corper.

As I said these, he was like the woman begged so they allowed her to go but me, I was playing with them and I wasn't even remorseful, I was like for real? Why should I be remorseful for something I haven't done?

His colleagues told him to allow me go as I was a Corper but this guy was just like no she must go to station. I looke at the guy and I told him I was driving nowhere do I look stupid? I will drive myself to a police station with him in the car then he will go and fabricate orisirisi story against me! No sir!

I even expected him to say something about my expired vehicle license which proclaims May 2008 but this fool didn't even realise that, all he cared about was how I was speaking to him and these are the same idiots that are entrusted with the safety of citizens!

After he made more noise and he realised he wouldn't get anything from me he got down and I almost ran over his foot! You guys should have seen his face as he was trying to cuss me out while looking down at his foot to make sure it was still there. I had a good laugh as I looked at him in my rearview mirror.

Then at my office, my oga said I should be transferred out of his dept as he couldn't manage me anymore! My outspoken self is too much to handle!

I was at CD (Community Development) yesterday when I got a call from one tatafo in the office that I wasn't been transferred anymore. Apparently the CEO said if my oga couldn't manage me then there was a problem. I have a sneaking suspicion that my 'transfer' had something to do with 'aboki lady/office brat'. Well they can't sack me I belong to the govt! I wish I had been in that meeting to see my oga's face when he was told that. NYSC sure has its uses, yes ke I am untouchable since I am government property for now!

Work experience

Temite & Vera I noticed something went wrong yesterday, that post was supposed to be a comment on Inyamu's post. Blogger don craze. I saw it became a post by me today sorry for the confusion jare.
Vera: There is a post you missed check out the title 'Orisirisi'. It is just before this.

Which reminds me, there is employee appraisal going on at my work place. My Line Manager happens to be my friend and he was told by the COO that his own appraisal will be based on how he does mine as he thinks he will be biased in my case. What is up with that?

I have got two degrees for heaven's sake! Of course I am more capable than the girls in my unit not blowing my trumpet here. One of them is cute and all but I remember when we first resumed she didn't even know where the @ sign was on a computer and how to use a search engine or what google does; Hello she is supposed to be a graduate! No dissing here thank God she didn't use to babble about going to UNILAG. I would have ribbed her to no end. Then the other one is just here 'cos she just finished school and has nothing doing at home plus she has contacts that can get contracts for the office so? She is freaking lazy! Tell her to do anything and she just looks and complains that she is going home and doesn't have to be here, if she feels that way, why not go home?

She majored in French language and one day i said 'fromage' that's cheese in french, she told me I didn't pronounce it well that 'f' in french is pronounced as 'p' meaning 'promage' I was like isssh? Then it occurred to me she is a northerner I just kept my counsel. Also we had to go sign a contract at one international organization, the workers are mostly from French speaking countries, so the CEO took her along thinking she will be the interpreter, on getting there the CEO was bragging that they need not force themselves to speak English as he brought along a french speaker na so conversation start o! O boy she couldn't even interpret a lone sentence. I would still pay a million naira to see the look on my CEO's face again. What a laugh I had! I mean she spent 4 plus years studying the thing.

If she has any disagreement with anyone in the office, the COO tells us to apologize to her or take documents to her house. He does that to my Line Manager a lot. The day he tried it with me, I gave him an earful, I said respectfully and clearly that he never ask me such again. Who the heck is she? If she is here to work she had better be treated like any other employee.

I used to have a log thing for all our projects that I update regularly, when my responsibilities expanded I was told to delegate it to her, on doing so she refused to do anything about it, my boss then asked me to take it back, trust me I say lailai which kind yeye nonsense be that?

She doesn't even get up for lunch she sends the office messenger including getting fuel for her car. She comes late too, once she gets in she doesn't get back up until she wants to go home which is usually at anytime it suits her.

Then the cute one is very malleable she goes along with everything the boss says which earned her a place in his heart. Me? I am not a zombie I have a mind that works if I don't agree I voice it out, so I have been labeled argumentative. They rarely get a job done on time they now say the Line Manager is biased? Me I do my own o!

Then this afternoon she called to tell me the CEO said one person should attend an exhinition, I didn't even allow her land. Na me be one person abi? She dey craze! I went back to the office and she went on about how I didn't allow her talk and I was yelling at her, excuse moi? Me yell? I was in a client's office o!
Didn't speak to her till she left for the day what a brat.
I am getting back to my presentation jare.

The presentation is the conclusion of our appraisal my little madam has left imagine and she is supposed to present after me.

Orisirisi revised

I am at work but things are pretty slow at the moment. I have work to do o, just can't be bothered at this time. I am still smarting from the queue at the NYSC office. To submit PC now is war especially if its the last day. Chei.

See me in my very tigh-high-waisted-just-before-the-knee-skirt with nice large purple belt over my ruffled top plus a two-tone purple banana heeled shoe. Abeg I can't shout. Na so I remember say I suppose submit PC for this month so I can get my stipend from govt.

Thank God I always have my kit in the car I just went to change na so dey ruin my fine girl today. I was ready to do the waka, see client, generally pose all over the place thing and I wasted the better part of 3 hrs at that damn place! Thank God my boss wasn't around I would have been in deep sh*t.

On the queue couldn't remember my no on the list na so the winch comot me for line to say I was pissed na another thing. Sha she got up to do something I just jeje flip the booklet to find my name and number before she came back. I went back to join the queue sha, the fine boy I was eye-balling no gree give me space in front of him. I don't know the kind beef she get for my face as she see me again she said I didn't write my account number well, bla bla bla. I just left after all her talk. See the crowd and before you find your bank...... Phew.

Getting to where I parked some olodos had blocked me and I didn't see myself waiting for nobody to come move their cars, I just jejely checked if the cars were in park mode and manual, I saw a friend of mine and I told him to let's roll the cars a bit forward so we could go. Na so I comot for the place o! I can imagine the expression on people's faces when they look for their cars and can't find it where they left it.

I have a presentation at work tomorrow and I haven't even prepared the paper. Na wah for me.
I logged on to fb this morning only to find a msg from one fine bloke I met a while ago at the conference, (he has a girlfriend remember?), he said: 'hey hot chocolate', I am like 'excuse me?'
I refused to call him when he didn't call even though he is really cute plus he has a girlfriend. I no want bottle for my head. I want to remain fine girl till I am sixty, ask Oprah.

So I was talking to one old flame who thinks he still has a chance, I will call him 'agbaya'
Agbaya: Are you still slim and slender?
Luscious: No I have gained weight duh. (Just kidding)
Agbaya: That's nice you will be more handy for my 'use'

I am like have you lost it or what? What arrant nonsense? I was so angry I hung up on him. I mean what kind of yeye talk is that? Hell will freeze over first before that!

Anyways I sufficiently calmed down enough to pick his call later and I gave him a piece of my mind. When did I become a tool to be used?
People really should learn speech manners and choose their words carefully.

Which reminds of one idiot in my office who says I eat too much and I am gaining weight. Yeah so I love cookies, chocolates etc its nobody's business what I put in my mouth. Its safer for me than real food another food poisoning I don't want! At least I need something to sustain me while I work. So this fool repeats it every time he sees me munching, That I was really slim and pretty when I started work and more body won't fit me. Where does he get off saying that rubbish to me?

I weigh 52kg! Where in the world does that qualify as overweight. My mother hugs me by the side and her arm encompasses my whole waist and this idiot says that! Everyone says I should gain more weight including my aunt who has 6 grown children and is just a little bit fatter than I am!

I just told him to stuff his comments where the sun doesn't shine. Opinion is an arsehole everybody has one! Thank God I am not insecure about my body I would have been upset. I told him not to say anything to me again except maybe greetings. We still have to work together. I would have reported him to HR sef but I just chilled.

Anyways I am going back to work let me earn the bandwidth time I have spent.

Back and already........

I am back. The trip to the airport was better than I thought it would be. I was dreading that trip literally. I love traveling but if I could just sleep and wake up in my destination without all the airport stress I would be thrilled. A little magic anyone?

My sister and cousin both followed me, which lessened the hassles considerably not one of them complained about how heavy my luggage was. They were very magnanimous, I know if I were in their shoes I would grumble all the way down.

My sister is one hell of a babe! She annoys me the way only younger sisters can sometimes drive one crazy but then I still wouldn't trade her for anything. I remember the start of my vacation, we had to go move her things from Kent to London. I was pissed throughout the whole process. Stress I hate. She didn't once complain about my attitude. I really wish I could be more patient like her.

On the day of my departure she took me on a mini sightseeing. I was thrilled and surprised because most of our arguments stem from the fact that I can wonder around for hours as long as I am window shopping or taking pictures, she doesn't like doing any of these. So it was really fun, for her to do that. She even indulged me in taking pictures of me whenever I asked. I even asked her if she was doing it because she will soon be rid of me and get back to her normal routine.

I wish I could put up a picture of the way she was dressed for the airport journey (She will skin me if I do) I had a good laugh along with my cousin! She was dressed like an ECOMOG soldier. She wore this crazy combat trousers and black Uggh boots, black clingy top and a rain proof hooded fur jacket!

My security screening at the airport is story for next time. Just a quick post to get back to real
life.

This post is for my sister who made my holiday what it was.

She didn't even get mad when I monopolized her computer when she finally gets an unsecured network to tap from. My cousin finally came to fix that problem sha.

I will upload some of the pictures when they have been properly edited.

Ciao!

I wrote this post yesterday but the internet at home was messing up so I saved it for later. Then I got to work and the internet wasn’t working as well. I simply packed up and I am now at one of my project sites where we are deploying VSAT, LAN etc. I told my boss I wanted to check on the workers.

Speaking of which he said I still had to explain why I didn’t resume when I was supposed to, that my ‘flu’ is not a valid reason and that I shouldn’t think because I bought him a gift I would go off easy. I knew he would say that.

I showed up for work today because I know they are not expecting me. They are sharpening their knives so they can all attack me on Monday so to lessen the jibes I came. My colleagues were all like what was I doing at work on a Friday that I should just have resumed on Monday, I smiled they are not the ones to face the bosses. Those bosses are not at work today sha. Still enjoying all the sallah break and independence hols I presume. I am a bit pissed though.

Its almost lunch time I want to eat pounded yam I have missed that meal! Something went wrong at the top had to edit.

Have a nice weekend all.