Lusciously Random!!!

Hi everyone, how have you been? I am fine thanks for asking! I finally got my blogging mojo back. Don't blame me, blame school. If I hear 'you to work hard 'cos this school is one of the top 20 law schools' one more time, I will scream!

Work load is crazy! Considering I am taking just two modules. My lectures are on Mondays only so my weekend is always hard pressed trying to finish up my reading list for the week.

I am loving it though. The French University accepted me so it is Salut! in Febraury to France. I have started French classes. It's fun, the other students are a riot! And the man paying the bill accepted. In fact, he said it was a great idea. I am so pleased.

I haven't cooked a meal since my brother left! It's always noodles, muffins or fruits! I have broken the jinx today! I diced up all the large pepper in my fridge, all 5 of them, added mushrooms, onions, minced meat and some diced turkey laps and voila! A pot of stew!

I also cooked ogbono with okro with shrimps and every other thing I could squeeze into the pot. My English flatmate asked if it was curry sauce, I told him what was in it he said- it sounded complicated!

I went for a flat party the other weekend. It was hosted by my Norwegian classmate. It was fun, I met her Nigerian flatmate, who cooked jollof rice! I was so excited I was just grinning like an idiot. I ate till I couldn't talk! The Oyinbo partygoers said the rice was too spicy! and that we were playing with our liver. I have never heard of such a thing. I had mad fun.

I thought it was a pretty good party until the Naija girl brought her stereo with loud speakers and started playing D'banj's Suddenly! Omo, at that point, I lost it! All the four Naija girls present just started displaying. I think that was the best fun I have had since I arrived. The Oyinbo girls wanted to know why our waist moves like that.

I went shopping last weekend for some leather boots, the prices almost gave me a corollary! I went on ebay and I got some fabulous boots for way cheaper! All pure leather and I think I got carried away with the number I got. Can I wear leather knee high boots in Naija? That is the only explanation for buying 4. I spent Sunday on ebay! I will be drinking Garri for the next few weeks.

I went to Glasgow on Wednesday, I was alone so it wasn't much fun. I plan to go back. I was attending a Graduate's Fair. I missed my bus, I had to buy another ticket which cost me as much as the return ticket. What was most annoying was, I got there as the bus was pulling away. :(

I am soooooo glad I went with the kinky braids, its still looks so neat and my hair is not even 'chopping'. I oil it everyday sha. Yesterday, as I was performing the rituals, I swung my hair, and the bottle of oil just tipped. Thank God I had only just started, I used my hair to clean up the mess! And claened up the rest.

On a good note, I am going home for Christmas! I so can't wait! I will make another hair, take some of my stuff home so I won't have too much luggage for France. win win for all. I must say thank you to my motehr for making it possible. She was supposed to come visit me in December before, she said I should come home instead and use her ticket!

I think I have rambled on enough. Sorry for the lack of theme. I will be visiting pages a little at a time. Looking at all the posts I have missed is a bit overwhelming. Forgive if I don't come by your page.

BTW:- I heard in Naija bukas, they have started calling 'snail' Y'ardua! No be from my page you read am o! LOL.

JETTING OFF

Hi people! Thank you all for your comments on my last post. I had a good laugh with the suggestions. Idiots they are. I changed the location in the mails just in case. Actual location is Scotland. I had actually typed a response to them when I got a genuine response form a Landlady, so I didn't bother to send it. Finally I have a place to stay. All details have been finalised.

I am exhausted. Preparation is not easy o! I don't know what to buy again. Any suggestions? I have bought most of my toiletries (the ones that will be difficult to get unless I go to London). I haven't even started packing. I am reserving next week for that.

Is it wise to go with kinky braids? I don't know which to choose between normal braids and afro kinky. On the plus side, I bought like 6 wigs. (Not excessive). If anyone knows where they make African hair in Scotland please let me know. (Don't let my fine girl diminish). I bought some weaves as well.

I will be getting dry goods on Saturday, Egusi, dry pepper etc. I have a thought on Palm Oil. (I will freeze it) What else? It's like my brain is operating in slow motion! I am tired.

On a random note, I went to Abuja yesterday for an assignment. I was exhausted, as I finally boarded the plane to go back to Lagos, I was dozing away before take off when the guy that sat beside me asked me if I was that tired. (I was thinking duh, if I wasn't, would I be sleeping?)

Then he proceeded to apologize to me for not saying hello when he boarded. (Guy, do I know you, or dem send you come? I will not let you ruin my fast). He then decided to show off as a Barrister. (Why do lawyers do this? Am supposed to be impressed or something?) I am one myself but I don't think I let everyone I meet know that fact. People always want free legal advice! :D

He tried to torment my peaceful existence by trying to make small talk. Why do people disturb other passengers? I had a good mind to change my seat since the plane wasn't full. I just ignored him and pretended to sleep. He didn't even allow me meditate religiously, he was making conversation in his loud 'barrister' voice to people across the aisle. Was I glad to get off the plane!

Please, my Obodo Oyinbo bloggers let me know what else I should bring o! Enjoy the rest of the week people.

P.S. I still don't know which to choose between Kinky and normal braids. Any thoughts?

Scammers! I no dey House

Hi people. I am not in a good mood right now. So, I am going to school in September and trying to secure an apartment because I don’t want school accommodation. I spent 5 years in Uni plus another 1 year in Law school, abeg[1] I have had enough of communal living.

I have been checking out websites and placing or responding to ads. Because I am leaving early Sept., I need a place ASAP. Imagine the tons of mails I have been receiving. So, I got this mail yesterday-

Hello,
My name is Cristopher Larsson and I am from Denmark and the flat is still available for rent. I had an aunt in UK and after her death she left me her apartment from UK a few years ago.
The flat was redecorated last year and the flat is looking very nice and clean. The property has a fully furnished kitchen,clean and well tidy sitting rooms,laundry room,and fully furnished with home utilities like: electric shower, Lounge,Vacuum Cleaner,Toaster, Owen and microwave, dryer, iron, washing machine , refridgerator , dishwasher, powershower, heater, cable ready,tv set and dvd player,internet connection, equiped kitchen and everything a house needs. I m interrested in finding someone clean who can take care of this house more then getting money from renting it if you know what I mean.
Till last month the apartment was rented by some students from Germany and now they left and the apartment is available again for rent. The price I want is £440 per month and I am intrested in a long term agreement,minimum six months!
If you have the money I could come in the next few days to show you the apartment and maybe sign the rental agreementif you like it but first I have to be sure you are honest you really do need a place to live because two weeks ago a person from Nottingham told me he is really interested and he asked me to go to Nottingham to meet him and sign the rental agreement and when I arrived there no person showed up to rent my place and I lost time and money for nothing.
I will wait for your e-mail, Cristopher Larsson.

I was surprised because normally, the mail has a link detailing where the ad was seen. Since my sister is helping me also, I thought the guy must be responding to an e-mail she posted in response to the ad which is below.

Hello,

I would like to know if the property has internet facilities and the approximate distance to school. Would I need to look for a housemate? Would I need to pay a deposit or need guarantors/referees? I am looking to rent for 12 months. Any other details would be welcome. Thanks

So I replied –

Hi,

Thanks for the e-mail. I appreciate your honesty. I must tell you that I can't be in the UK next week. As I said in my e-mail, I am an international student. I am still in my country and coming to the UK in the 1st week of September. I am looking to share a flat with someone as I cannot afford the whole rent by myself. I want to rent for 12 months since my course is for one year. I thought the rent will be by direct debit monthly. If you are interested let me know.

Today, I saw this reply in my inbox-

Hello,

I will attach some pictures of the flat,floor plan and also a model of the rental contract! The flat is located near 263f XXXX but I can`t give you the exactly address because there`s no one living out there and I`m afraid of thief's! Please accept my apologies for this but I hope you understand me because I`m in Denmark right now! The property benefits from access to beautifully maintained communal gardens and comprises reception room, kitchen with washing machine/tumble dryer, master bedroom with fitted wardrobes and en suite bathroom, second bedroom with fitted wardrobe and bathroom.

In the kitchen there is a dishwasher and also a Big fridge freezer! Regarding the council tax I can tell you that it is included in the price of £440 per month and also Sky TV,internet broadband,gas and electricity are also included in this price! I am intrested in a minimum six month agreement and I request two months advance rent payment plus one month refundable deposit (£440) wich you will get it back at the end of the contract.

Regarding the plummets and all that kind of stuff I can tell you that the flat was recently renovated and all electrical part and plummets are new so that won`t be necessary any repairs anyway I have a person who can manage this starting from September.
We can sign the rental contract starting from next weekend but I need to be sure that you have serious intentions in renting the flat that`s why I attach here a model of the tenancy agreement and also we can discuss the terms when we will meet!
If you are decided to view the flat let me know because there is another person interested in reserving it!
Kind regards,
Cristopher Larsson

Two minutes later I got another mail from him-

Hello again,
There is parking acces available(one place) I forgot to mentioned it! We can sign the reement starting from September, but you see these is due to previous predicament that I have gone through in the past trying to rent the property to some students,I have got to realize so many people are not really in need of an apartment all they do is secure a place in advance, My last experience in trying to rent the property to a particular lady had got me to predicate on these,she made me believe she was willing and ready to get the apartment she even went to the extend of showing me her statement of account,which made me took her for the viewing but after taking her for the viewing,she saw the apartment and got to love it and never wanted to loose it,so she kept pleading i retain it for her because she is not financially composed at the moment,which i did but end up disastrously.
So basically for me to be sure of you been willing and ready to get the apartment I will employ you walk into any Money Gram outlet and send the total bill cash £1320 (two months rent and one month refundable deposit) to your partener`s name(NOT to ME),or your partener should send it to you with location of Nottingham, All I need is for you to get back to me with the receipt issued to you after making the transaction so I can confirm it! When we will meet in person to sign the papers we will go together to Money Gram and you or your partner will withdraw the cash and pay me in hand or you can pay me on Monday by bank transfer! I just need to see that you do have the money available and you do have serious intentions in renting the flat! If the Money Gram agent will ask you about the receiver you should tell him that is your cousin because the transfer fees will be cheaper! Anyway I will pay for it either you take the flat or not! I will book the flight for Saturday as soon as I have your positive answer because I can come only in weekends!
I do apologise for that but as I told you last time when I arrived to Nottingham to show the flat to a person everything was a stupid joke and I hope you understand me because I don`t want to waste my time and money on plane tickets..
Regards,Cristopher Larsson.

I immediately knew something was up! I didn’t even bother to reply. He can rot in hell! Western Union ko Money transfer ni! Although, I wouldn’t mind playing a little trick on him/her. What a load of rubbish! I immediately forwarded the message to my sister, whom agreed with me that scammers are at work. So imagine my shock this afternoon when my yahoo alert popped up saying I had an e-mail. I read it and see what I found-

Hello,
I`m sorry for my late reply but I've had some medical problems! My name is Albert Moulton and I am from France and the flat is still available for rent. I had an aunt in UK and after her death she left me her apartment in UK a few years ago.
The flat was redecorated last year and the flat is looking very nice and clean. The property has a fully furnished kitchen,clean and well tidy sitting rooms,laundry room,and fully furnished with home utilities like: electric shower, Lounge,Vacuum Cleaner,Toaster, Oven and microwave, dryer, iron, washing machine , refrigerator , dishwasher, power-shower, heater, cable ready,tv set and dvd player,internet connection, equipped kitchen and everything a house needs. I'm interested in finding someone clean who can take care of this house more than getting money from renting it if you know what I mean.
Till last month the apartment was rented by some students from Germany and now they left and the apartment is available again for rent. The price I want is 450 UK pounds per month and the advance it's the price for the first 2 months(1 advance and 1 guarantee).
If you have the money I could come in the next few days to show you the apartment and maybe sign the rental agreement if you like it but first I have to be sure you are honest you really do need a place to live because two weeks ago a person from Nottingham told me he is really interested and he asked me to go to Nottingham to meet him and sign the rental agreement and when I arrived there no person showed up to rent my place and I lost time and money for nothing.
I will wait for your e-mail
Albert

You can all go to blazes! No be my papa hard earned Naira you go chop. Go and find better work. She my Yoruba name is not enough to tell you that we might be form the same country? (I didn’t say they originate from my country o!) See me see wahala[2] o! In fact for this, they will not prosper! I should have sensed something was up immediately I saw the long email. All the other agents I have been mailing usually send me short-to-the-minute-mails and include their phone nos.

Dem no even try make them change the format small[3]. I would be a very stupid maga[4], if I fall this kind thing. So to all my enemies, I no dey house! Try again another time. I dey ground for una[5]. God go punish you well well. She na yahoo yahoo you still dey do, una no go even see pure water sell in future. Olosi gbogbo![6]

Na so I see am o! Can you imagine? I am practically foaming right now! What would you guys do in my shoes?

1. Please
2. Trouble
3. They didn’t try to change the format
4. Gullible person
5. I am prepared for you
6. I can’t translate the rest jare!

My Diamond & I (part 1)

How was your weekend all?

My mum will be 50 this week. As usual I went to ask her what she wanted for her birthday, I think between my dad and us kids we have gotten her all the gifts there is because her birthday and Mother’s day are always in the same week. We thought of what we have never given her and we all came up with nothing.

There I was on her bed and she answered “as long as you kids are happy, I have gotten all I wanted”

I was surprised and I told her we were happy already and she should come up with a serious gift she wants and she insisted that what she said was all she wants.

That statement inspired this post. It made me think of the relationship between us. I have to say she is my closest friend if I exclude my sister. She knows when to be my mother and when to be my friend.

My mother cool like the waters of a spring. I remember whenever things go awry; she is most times the voice of reason. When you want to take a rash decision she comes up with different ideas that would automatically make you change your mind. She has intervened on more than one occasion when my boyfriends misbehave and I complain to her, she makes me see other sides to the situation that I didn’t think of.

My mother strong like the trunk of an Iroko tree [insert laughter]. I remember when I was in secondary school, my school was a 4 hr drive from Lagos, My mum never missed a visiting day, she would drive down those Saturdays and cook all kinds of food. It makes wonder how many hrs she spends making all those. There would be Jollof rice, amala, fried yam, mashed potatoes, fried meat, fish, dodo etc and she was most often than not the first parent to arrive.

She had this flashy red car, once it appears on the express beside the school fence, I would hear people scream my name that my mum was around. The joy that made me feel is still indescribable.

She comes early so she can spend several hours with us before making the journey back.

My mother the working mother. She holds down a powerful job and still managed to raise us. When I see people making a fuss about raising kids and going to work, I wonder how she managed it, there weren’t too many people doing that, because most people we knew then were house wives. She travels all the time and my dad was always on the move too but she always makes time out to be our mother. The times she is around she will drive us to school and gist with us all the way.

I remember all her training courses when she has to travel all over and implement software for all her company locations, she got a moniker for that, I had finished my SSCE then and I was alone at home, she would take me round the locations with her, We used have so much fun. We traveled round Nigeria. We once took a luxurious bus because she wanted me too see the Lokoja bridge.

She was always making chin-chin, kokoro, cookies, fruit punches, so many things I can’t recall their name now at the weekends. To say our bags were always filled to bursting would be understating the obvious.

When I was younger, every party my mum went to, she would bring something back. She would share it equally and as the custom the eldest being me chooses first but really, there was no needs for that because none is bigger than the other so just pick one and forget it.

Every December, when all the neighbours decorate their houses for Christmas, my mum would do ours too so we wouldn’t be left out even though we were Muslims. She understood kids could be cruel and our house would be the most decorated and all the neighbourhood kids would want to come. I was always so proud of that.

I can’t remember a time when she ever embarrassed me.

Once I caught a cousin of mine having sex with her boyfriend. I was six. I told my mum and she explained to me what it was all about and how I should be careful and never let any boy touch me that way until I was an adult. That lesson stuck and I am glad she didn’t take the high road of most parents and shun that topic.

When said cousin got pregnant, I saw the disappointment in my mother’s face and she told me that if my cousin had been careful, she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant. That it was too much too soon.

To be continued...