Tales from a Party

Hi guys, how is everyone doing? Hope all the overzealous natural forces at work is not hampering your daily life. France is being battered by a horrible storm with winds that can lift a human body off the streets! I couldn't sleep through the storm, the howls of the wind was too terrifying and the temperatures magically dipped so it was very cold as well. It's been horrible but mercifully over. I hope the people in Chile are coping well though.


Went for a party last Saturday and I must say I have attended better parties. It was supposed to be a house party by a classmate who moved to Paris away from the school environs. You are thinking fun yeah? Maybe a little.

So I went with another classmate since I can't find my own tail with a compass. We got to the apartment. It was a very nice one complete with marble elevators and English speaking neighbours! We met a few of them 'cos they let us into the foyer. And it's very close to the Metro. Fab!

We met the hostess in sweats and she grabbed me the Nigerian to come make the Jollof rice! Did I mention the party was supposed to start at 9pm? Oh I got there at 9.30 or so. The hostess is a fly African who grew up American. She rarely attends lectures too. I have seen her all of twice since we started classes here, we mostly see on FB!

She was dishing out orders like we were her servants, oh you get the chicken, LusciousRon slice the onions, don't add too much pepper in the sauce for the jollof rice. Oh you go get the paper plates, the store is down the road. etc

On a regular day, I don't mind doing some work to get a party started and ready but sheeeet I did not leave my cosy flat, brave the cold weather, and travel into Paris in heels and flowing hair to come cut onions and ish! When I start reeking of maggi and other condiments at the party what am I supposed to tell other guests? That I had an accident with a curry shop? Puhleeeeeese.

I swallowed my annoyance and made the jollof, lighted the candles and did other minor stuff that kept the party going. It was the kind of party that people come in groups and leave after 2hrs to go to another party or club. And the hostess (we will call her H) kept making disappearing acts for lenthy chunks of time to attend to her stud-wearing-jeans-sagging boyfriend.

I was chatting with some of my classmates when H brought a dude over that he is Nigerian and I should talk to him. Behold a Nigerian that pronounced his name till I got a mild headache. He is supposedly 'Femi' but the way he said it, I asked him to repeat it so many times it sounded like a song! Get this, he speaks the kind of English a 2yr old would speak- very limited and I don't speak much French past what would get me items in a store. His parents are Nigerian but he grew up here. Having a conversation with loud blaring music is terrible at the best of times but having one with someone you cannot communicate with is crazy, besides he ain't that cute so I am not missing anything! I tilted him towards a Norwegian that speaks French and escaped!

I thought I had escaped most of the horrors of the night until a batch of French people came in. They were very drunk from another party. of course they had to do the French air kissing thing. Imagine the stale alcoholic breath coming into your nostrils, its utterly disgusting and 'cos they were drunk the kiss lingered and I had to endure that from about 8 people! I thought I would throw up. They were actually waiting in line to meet a delightful looking lady- their words not mine.

Some time after that, the Naija guy slipped beside me and from what I could decipher, he asked me to walk up to his friend and ask him to dance for me that he can really move. (Do you guys remember those silly games we played in secondary school and early Uni days? Where a guy's friend will tell you to go up to him and ask him to do something? Yes that one) I turned calmly and told him I was tired and the last thing I would do, is walk across the room to ask someone to dance for me! He gave me that incredulous look like, I want to miss the offer of the century. I simply turned to another person and struck up conversation.

I was stuck at the party 'cos the trains stop working at around 1am, so I couldn't go home. We left around 4 after we discovered we could get a bus to our place instead of waiting for the trains to start working. I was so glad. We walked to St. Lazare ran to catch the bus 'cos it was already leaving. Unlike the UK, the buses wait to pick you when they see you running. They even wait at bus-stops close to malls for shoppers.

We got to the Gare and I walked home. It's Sunday the regular buses don't start work until 7.30am. You gotta love France!


So it's winter break this week and I have signed up for a trip to Amsterdam on Wednesday. I have back-to-back presentations immediately after the break so I will be quite busy. I am looking forward to the trip though.
So thats how the past week has been. Have a fab week guys!

Guilty pleasures!

I have been away for too long. I feel guilty but I could not help it. Blame laziness! How is everyone? Hope the year is off to a great start. Things are good. Safely ensconced in France. Yet to visit the great city. Moved flats over the weekend so I am doing the big settling down. I love my room, I did it entirely in red with white walls!

Not much going on here, I prefer the UK Uni, much more engaging. Things are a bit slow here hence this free time. We are been taught in English so less books to read as they are mostly in French. I do not speak French and its been hilarious getting around. Picture a combination of sign languages punctuated with a few French words and fluent English. I sound like the idiot from grade 1.

It's sometimes amusing watching these people try to understand me but its equally frustrating. So I have signed up for the school French course which I have termed 'Learn French by force' because its a 6 hour class on Friday afternoons! Talk about losers who have nothing to do! How can I spend all my friday afternoon till early evening cooped up in a class learning a language? 2.30pm-8.30pm! I am still mad! There goes my plan to run away to London every chance I get for the weekend!

Things here are ridiculously expensive! I have been moaning about this since I got out of the plane. From the Travellex exchange service that charged me 27euros to change some money so I could get a bus to my town to the maxi pack of Maltesers I bought that cost 4 euros! I am still smarting form the injustice of it all. So I have resolved to get to London as much as possible and fit in copious amount of TESCO shoppings as I can manage. I will be on the Eurostar so it will be fine.

Getting here was another story entirely! FYI never book EasyJet unless you are going away ONLY for a weekend! They are hideous. I had to pay about £150 to carry 21kg extra luggage! That is more than double the amount I paid for the ticket itself plus I had to buy my own baggage space.

Anyway, all the gorgeous men I have been seeing all around have been compensating for my disappointment! They are crawling everywhere! So fine. I mean I have never seen so many beautiful guys in the same place. I know I am gushing but I just can't help it. Even in my flat. I have to touch my face often to make sure I am not gawking at someone!

Only downside is few speak any English but who cares when they look that good. I just want to stare at those faces! But the ones that do speak my language get extra points in the fuuuuuuuuuuiiiiiiiiiiiine department. Like the Ghanian that came to my flat yesterday. He could speak flawless English and perfect French and was switching effortlessly between the 2! He was so dreamy OMG. My friend & I couldn't wait for him to leave before we started screaming how gorg he is!

Excuse the typos, blame it on excitement and a decided laziness to proof read! I should go down some more water and a croissant (the pastry shops are divine!) and look at my French translation book to cram what I might say tomorrow if I do leave my apartment. I am free on Tuesdays so not obliged to go anywhere. After been relatively homeless for about a week, I am relishing the idea of staying put in my room.

I will do the rounds when I am done unpacking. Good to be back. I just wish it has a staying power. If anyone is coming to this part of the world anytime soon, kindly leave me a comment. I shall provide contact and maybe we can hook up. Strangely, there is a dearth of Nigerians here! Shocking but true. They ain't many. There are a lot of other African countries repping here though. Signing off. Be good people.