Idle hands

Forgive the randomness.
I am currently looking for a job (with a torch light I might add!) So I have a lot of time on my hands. I read a lot of things but lately, I noticed that a lot of people have different names for copulation. The interesting ones I have found include:

Playing the pokey table
Laying the Pipe and eating the Goodie box (Sounds icky)
Settling in the lady caves ( This is not funny stricto sensu but I can't stop laughing)

On to other things, I remember a time when make up regime consisted of dusting powder on the hands, rub said hands together and wipe over the face until well blended. I say this because I had to get ready for a party recently and I had 25 mins to take a shower get my face on and be ready!

I wondered how I was going to get it done within the time but I did. I went back to the old routine. Of course the finishing touches were done in the car. Which brought to fore the necessity of wearing make-up at all. Women Palava

I have been wondering lately, can men and women 'just be friends' without any strings? I have tried for years to reach a medium and even argued fervently in times past that it is possible but I can't help but conclude that it is very RARE. One party always want something more. In cases where they don't, if an opportunity ever presents itself, one party will try to take advantage of the other. Can anyone prove otherwise? I have had to prune down my friends list because of this. I can't give what I do not have.

Is anyone excited over Christmas? I am not and I just want the season to be over. The anxieties over the festivities is too much and the evil boys/girls are out en masse all because they want to have money for Christmas. Too many snatched cars, people getting killed etc it is just too close for comfort and I go out now ONLY if it is absolutely necessary. I don't even do the casual 'meet up for drinks' anymore. I sorely miss that.

I pray 2011 brings more good tidings. By the way, my graduation went very well. I had a great time with my parents and I left just a day before the snow started! That was coup for me. :D Have a great week people

This country of mine!

Hope everyone is doing great. My internet or my computer has been misbehaving, I could read post but was unable to leave comments. I discovered it was my computer, I have deleted all my cookies but yet to check the result, I am back on my old lappy.

I went to Cotonou last Saturday. Nigerian immigration officials are some of the most corrupt people ever! I was watching this freaking eejit demand for 9k to stamp our 'virgin' passports! Our crime? We wanted to do the right thing by stamping when we could have walked past the border gates simply or taken the car and paid 500naira! We wanted to take car. The virgin part was that we had never taken that route!

We were so miffed, I was dangerously quiet and my sister let it rip! They were so galled they went the 'we are not your mate route' and can you speak to your husband like that? My sister God bless that girl, promptly replied that if they had treated her like their daughter, she would have spoken to them like her father! EOD (End of Discussion) We finally got out of there, parked our car and hired a vehicle to take us there. We went through Ogun state, the state of our borders is laughable!

We left home at 5.30 in the morning, our drive to Otta-Idiroko-Igolo was pleasurable until we met those froggy looking immigration men. It is such a shame. They had this ridiculous pot bellies and I was very ashamed to share citizenship with these people.

The trip was fun and the journey back was terrible. Traffic on that Otta road was appalling! We got to the border at 4.30 and from Otta to the toll gate we spent 4hrs! Gbenga Daniel or whoever takes over from him needs to do something. We got back to my sister's house. Her husband drove, I was so tired, I was tempted to crash in their house! But I had to drive back home, Thank God I got home safely, my Dad waited up as usual. That is a road trip we will not be repeating in a while.

Next week is my graduation. Should be fun. So I ordered new boots for myself and Mumsie from ebay only to have my account blocked! I accessed my account from Nigeria! I was so miffed. After about 6hrs on their help line verifying my account etc I got the issue resolved. Nigeria needs a miracle seriously!

I will miss Sallah second time in a row. Not happy about it but grad preps have been in the works for ages. It's a shame they coincided. The funny thing is my parents are coming too and they will miss Sallah for the first time ever! The running joke in the house is that they should call all their regular guests that they won't be coming this year. I can imagine the number of people that throng our house in Ibadan for the festivities, the disappointment chei!

I wish NLC had not called off the strike. I want to see what the current President can do :D. Have a great weekend everyone.

shall i say... phew!

Yesterday, I had to take my car to the mechanic. I assumed I would spend the whole day, so I called a friend to follow me, armed with magazines, snacks etc. After 3 hours we were told the diagnosis was over and the guys are on break so we decided to go on one ourselves. Picture me crossing the Lagos-Badagry Expressway, I was terrified. I can't remember ever crossing an express before. We went to this very nice place called Tank & Tummy. The food is fab and not over-priced. If anyone is ever in that area, they should try it.

My car wasn't going to be ready until the next day, so we set out for home. On getting home, I remembered I had not warmed the stew since the day before and I wasn't sure if my brother had warmed it before leaving the house. In haste, I put it on fire, dropped my bags and went back downstairs. I had to cook dinner, it was past five, I had to go to the tailor to pick up my outfit and buy plantain.

I left the house, strolled to the tailor's place, exchanged banters, (my clothe wasn't ready) and I walked further to get the plantain. That is when it occurred to me that I left the stew on fire! I don't know how I got on a bike and headed home leaving my friend on the roadside! I just ran into the house, leaving the gate open, to turn off the cooker. Yep, it was totally burnt! Smoke all over, I just opened the door and windows and got back on the bike to go back to the plantain place! It was hilarious on retrospect but at that time, I must have been a sight!

I haven't taken a bike since 2007. It was during chamber's attachment at Law School. There was mad traffic on the Falomo Bridge and I was staying with Uncle in VI at the time 'cos of the proximity to school. The red flag came flying suddenly and there was no way I could drive home without having major stains on the car seat so I hopped a bike!

I was pained that my stew got burnt but even better that I didn't burn down the house!

Currently on my mind

Fistly, happy birthday to Myne Whitman, hope you had a blast!
Omotee, I dey vex. That cake for Myne, I am envious!
RIP to the Cunning Linguist. Very sad but God knows best. May your family have the fortitude to bear the loss.

By the way, I can't leave comments on blogs today! Don't know what is wrong with blogger o. I like the sound of LG's register idea. Omotee knows me and my entire family we went to high school together. :D I by 2014 we would have been friends for 20yrs! I can't wait to celebrate that, we will have a sumptuous do celebrate. May God keep us beyond that time.

To my post of the day, it's official, I am BORED! I am not actively job searching anymore no one is returning my calls. Plus I still have to go for graduation. So I will keep chilling.

Something that has been bothering me, why do guys misbehave in a relationship? You break up and after sometime, they want to come back. I am asking because all my exes always come back.

Is anyone worried about the current rise in floods in Nigeria? I went to Lokoja last week and the level of water was alarming. It had covered some houses entirely and all that was visible were the roofs. I took pictures and said out loud that I wonder if the State government is thinking of doing something. I think I spoke too soon because it was on the news last night and the government is calling on the Federal Government to do something about the River Niger. Why is it that our government is useless? They have no rescue plan whatsoever on the floods save for Lagos State. I pray the people affected get some relief.

I wonder if the government can pass a law that dragging and touching people in the market is technically an assault. I dread going to the market, all those guys, shouting 'my colour, come buy' etc it freaks me out! I love shopping and I know most of the nooks and crannies of Lagos market but having being absent for some time I fear my re-entry. I say this because I have to follow a friend there today. I wish I could call her now to cancel but I can't, having cancelled twice already. So here I am clinging to the bed instead of getting a move.

Oh well, it's the middle of the week, hope you are all being the best you can be. Enjoy the rest of the week. I apologise for the randomness. Please show this girl some love I would really really appreciate it. http://bnuitville.blogspot.com/ Can anyone guess who she is?

Funny Dudes

Hello all, I hope everyone is having a good time. Is it me or some men are just totally clueless about some women?

I wonder why men who want to date me make suggestions like me visiting them in their states! I mean ain't you the one 'toasting' me? I have and will NEVER make such a trip. Why would I leave my house and travel all the way to make a visit with you when all you is just talk to me on the phone? Why don't you try visiting me first and see how it goes?

Such is what I have been getting since I arrived. The first guy asked me when I would be coming to Ibadan. I laughed inwardly, I am yet to visit my Grandmother who stays there, it is you I will now visit, puhleeeeeeeeeese. That is why men take women for granted I think. Why would I want to endanger my life on that perilous useless express-way to come visit you?

Another asked me when I would be coming to Warri, wetin I wan come buy for there? I have no business in those places. I don't make such visits, the next thing I heard was, you are a big girl now. Big girl or not, I am not interested in visiting people. I don't understand why people just make such assumptions that you would come running when they say so. Again, why do guys just go loving up on you on the BB in 24hrs when 48 hrs before you didn't exist in their orbit? I adopt the siddon-look attitude, shebi you are fooling yourself ni not me.

That is it for today. Wish it was written better but I just had to get that ish off my mind. I am beginning to get pissed off at all the 'when are you coming to so so place' requests. Get off my case brother, only in your dreams will I make such a trip!

Vacuum

The wedding was a huge success! Thank you all for your wishes. I am waiting to watch the video since I spent most of my time coordinating the event. I even earned the title of 'field marshall'. We had security at the door and people were turned back, there were too many guests; Some uninvited and or without IVs or the aso-ebi.

I couldn't sleep for a few days after the wedding, I miss my sis. She has been coming and going the past week to get her remaining stuffs. I am yet to fill her wardrobe space, it feels like I am invading her privacy.

On the engagement day, I wore my heels, to say I regret the action is an understatement! I wore flats all through the next day! Wise decision and it wasn't as bad as I thought 'cos I didnt even have time to think about it.

Too many people saw the wedding on air judging by the calls I am still receiving. I just thank God the ceremony was money well spent. May the couple enjoy marital bliss.
The room feels empty now and I ocassionally mention my sister when I want to call my brother hence the vacuum.

I was just chatting with a friend and she is quite angry. Still on the subject of weddings: She says a friend didn't inform her she had a boyfriend and she is getting married on Friday. Her grouse is the 'big secret' and she asked me why people are usually secretive about theitr wedding. I had no answer to that and simply told her to relax, if the other lady valued their friendship or had belief in it, she would have been informed.

I am a realist and I try to avoid assumptions so I don't get upset much by my friends. I have come to realise people have different definitions of friendship. Hope everyone is doing alright. Remember to be the best you can be all the time. Have a nice week

Just how many is too much?

The wedding is two weeks away! I miss her very much already. That is why I came home early, to spend more time with her before she leaves! It would be so strange to wake up in the morning and not see her beside me. We have shared a room and finally a massive bed to create more space for as long as I can remember.

I watched her grow up, from being the cutest thing into a strong minded woman. From copying everything I did to exchanging words with me to correcting me when I am wrong. It has been an amazing journey and I can't believe this girl whom I would always see as my baby sister is getting married!

She sometimes call me mummy! My voice sounds so much like our Mum's that when I call her she says yes mummy! I even capitalise on that sometimes to get her to do some chores! :D

She said just this morning, (after she woke up at 6.38, late for work already!) that Mum does not bother to ensure she is awake early again since I arrived and I responded that her second mummy is back now so why bother? We laughed about it while she said, she is having anxiety attacks and she can't believe she is leaving in two weeks!

I thought September was far away! Now it's here and we can only count days. She is just so amazing and if I had handpicked my sister, I couldn't have done a better job!

Back to today's topic, our room looks like a bomb explosion site. Thanks to packing and unpacking. She has started packing and is complaining about all the suitcases filled with my clothes that must be empty so she can use them to pack her stuff. Then she jokes about my lingerie, that she could write a book on them!

I know I have quite a number, make that a lot! We have both resorted to keeping a giant vacuum bag to drop whatever we wear after washing so that we can go through them all! The ones I left before I travelled are still untouched in their various bags and none of us wants to even open the wardrobe to find out what is there! It is daunting as she rightly said! So just how many is too much? I know I have more than 150 brassieres, I just love the damn things and I am one of those people that can get away with not wearing one. I do it sometimes especially when the heat is too much.

As for panties, well we are not even going to count or attempt to and I love basques too. On the subject of clothes, I am afraid for myself. Our Dad believes that every occasion needs a new native cloth so he just buys, so I attempted to clear out some from the wardrobe, so that I can unpack some suitcases and fill them with the natives instead since I rarely wear them. I wish I hadn't started. They are just too many. I got so tired that I simply started shoving everything from the suitcases into the wardrobe without folding them. Our dressing room is overrun with cases, we have a narrow path to walk through and then there is this mini room that we designated a prayer room, but now you can barely fit in a mat to pray simply because of our suitcases.

Our Dad is tired of complaining, last week he said, we have about half of the house between us and that is too much. We disagree with him of course! He is a shopaholic too and I take after him. I arrived about a week ago, and during the week, he came home with a bag for me, when I opened it, more shoes! And he is the one that complains that I have far too many shoes. The funny thing is, we have the same size and the unfortunate thing is, no one else in the house shares our size! He is a 41 and so am I! In the three homes we have, he has racks of shoes stretching from wall to wall, the difference between him and I is that I like to have all my shoes in one place.

So I will miss my sister sorely. I already do but I am also looking forward to having her wardrobe space to myself, the shelves, dressing table, shoe racks gosh! I will miss waking up in the middle of the night to tell her to move over, telling her to switch off the light etc.

Here is to my sister my very own ever sparkly, keep me grounded, part-time hairdresser, nail-polisher, cook, drive me crazy, sparring partner, go-to-girl, financial advisor/planner and so much more HAB, I love you so much, I always will be here for you like I always tell you, your hubby is so lucky, your kids are going to be so lucky for having you as a mother! Remember you are to send them to me for some discipline and fabulosity like you always say, and I am sending my kids to you to get away from my sometimes crazy hare-brained fashion ideas (Like the time I decided I wanted short hair and a different colour) and cooking experiments! I will also try not to drag them on my all day shopping trips so as not to kill them like you say.

I love you so very much, I never get tired of saying that. And I am going to miss your 'love you' call outs when you are leaving the house. Have a very happy married life sweetness, you deserve it and much more.